What if
by PoisonedCupcakes
Summary: ... L and Light would be drugged? Crack fiction with a lot of ooC. Wrote it a year or so ago. Warnings: Slight language and drugs.


**Okay, it took me a long time to decide, if I would upload this. Why? Becasuse it's ... uhm ... bad. A crack fiction with a lot of being ooc. I had been really lazy and just decided to edit this story. I'm sorry. And I'm learning russian, so I apologize for mistakes. For the mistakes in english, too. I don't know, if I will write it further, so I'll label it as finished.**

**Disclaimer: I will never own anything. This is why I'm writing this shit.**

**Warnings:**** Drugs and slight bad language.**

Misa stept into the room with a baking sheet in her hands. L turned around, because of the smell of something sweet. 'What did you baked?', he asked her, slightly interested. Brownies. Do you want any?' A smile crouched over her face.

_I've added some hash to these brownies. I just want to see, what will happen, if he is __drugged,_ she thought. L nodded and she handed him the baking sheet with the brownies on it.

'Thank you', he said politely and took it. 'You're welcome.', she replied with a kind smile. _That smile seems a little bit creepy. I can't exactly lay my finger on it, but I think I should give somebody one to taste it_, L thought, when he saw the smile.

Misa turned around and went closer to Light. 'Watch closely, I think this is going to be funny.', she whispered into the ear of her beloved one. The woman went out of the room. She would come back later, when the hash took an effect.

'Light, would you like to taste these brownies?', L asked and threw one of the sweets in the direction of the other. The brown-haired male managed it to catch the brownie, before it was able to hit him in the face. 'You don't have to throw this at me, you just have to ask.', Light mumbled. He thought about the words, Misa had said to him. _I wonder, what she meant._

L still looked at him, so he sighed and took a bite. It had a strong, difficult flavour, but it was to his liking. So he ate the whole brownie and said: 'They are good. You should taste them yourself.' He stood up and moved closer to the man he was tied to. 'You don't have anything against it, do you?', Light said, when he grabbed three of the sweets and sat down on his chair again.

After a few minutes, Ryuuzaki thought, that he should try the brownies. They seemed to be good and they didn't had an effect to Light. So he grabbed one of the little brown cakes and took a bite. It didn't tasted bad.

Not sweet enough, but not bad. He mentioned, that Light came closer and tried to get more of the brownies. L took 15 of the 25 left muffins and handed the rest of them over.

Light felt a little bit, like a few worries had been taken away from him. The fact, that he always had to think about what he said, wasn't this heavy anymore. He felt … light, a bit like he could fly. 'Hmm, they taste really good. It's such a shame that we ran out of these.', he hummed. L just felt a little bit relaxter, so he wondered about Lights statement. But not much.

'Yes, you are right. Do you think Misa would bring us more of them, if we would ask her?' _What was that,_ he thought, _I didn't wanted to say such a thing. _'I think we should try it. I'll phone her.', Light said and pulled out his phone. L had nothing against it that Light used his cellphone, because they were cuffed together. He was able to hear everything.

'Hey, Misa. We have enjoyed these brownies very much, so would you please bake more?', he giggled in the phone, just when Misa answered the phone. L started to laugh a little bit, when he heared that his friend was giggling.

'_Light, are you alright?'_, Misa asked him, when she heard the unexpected sound from her boyfriend. L grabbed the phone and tried not to laugh, when he was speaking. It wasn't this effective. 'Hey, Misa-Misa, what's going on? It would be really nice, if you could bring us some more of these delicious brownies.', he babbled.

Misa tried not to laugh, when she heard L's words. _That went better than expected. But I think, Light ate the brownies, too. _She also thought, that she should bake some more sweets, but without the hash. The young women just wanted to see what would happen, but she didn't wanted to overdose and cause that something bad happens to Light. Or to Ryuuzaki.

Misa knew, that L had to die, if Light should win, but she liked him.

'_Misaaaa.'_ She heared the stretched word, which came out of the phone.

'Uh, yes?' '_So, will you bring us some more of these … things?' _'What do you think about a banana dessert?', she asked, trying to concentrate to the call. L had a terrible british accent, when he was drugged. '_Yes, but do it fast. Your brownies are making so hungry.' _She had heard that hash could have this effect to some people. She heard a giggle trough the phone, just before L hung up. 'Huh, was that L who giggled?', she wondered. 'Anyway, I should hurry with the dessert, so I'm able see the rest of the show.'

'I was serious when I said, that I will kill you, when you steal my phone again.', Light threatened. L giggled again. 'Misa will make a banana dessert.' 'Ah, pretty nice. These brownies are making hungry.'

'And what should we do now? I don't want to work anymore today.' Light just turned to the PC in front of him and searched something. L stepped behind him and read, what the other was tipping. 'We could watch some YouTube-videos.', said Light, who didn't noticed, that Ryuuzaki could read, what he was searching.

'Yes, but what could we watch. I'm not often on YouTube.' 'How long did you stood there?', Light asked, when he suddenly noticed the other.

Misa heared this, when she stepped in with some Chocolate-Cream-Bananas in her hands.

'Hey, guys. I've something for you.' 'Yay! Thank you, Misa.' L ran to Misa and dragged Light with him. 'And what are you doing right now?', Misa asked when L took some bananas. 'Mhmhmhm.' 'What do you say, Ryuuzaki? I can't understand you, when you eat and speak at the same time.'

He chewed several times and swallowed. 'Light said, that we could watch some YouTube-videos. But we didn't know which.' 'Why didn't we watch some funny cat videos? I think, that I will join you.' Misa handed the rest of the banana dessert to Light and went to the computer. 'You will enjoy it. I swear.', she said, when she tipped in the words.

'Okay, whatever you say, Misa-Misa.' L stepped back to his seat and managed it, that Lights monitor were connected to the wall, which was transformed to one big monitor a few months ago. Misa clicked on a video which was called 'Lustige Katzen Videos zum totlachen Teil 1 2013'. 'Something in german? Don't you think, that the germans are way too serious for really funny videos?', Light asked, when he saw the title. 'You know that Harald Glööckler is a german? Just a second, I'll search a picture.', Misa said and opened a new tab.

'I thought, that germans usually look like Ludwig Beilschmidt. And act like him.' L was kinda shocked, while Light started laughing his ass off.

'Do you have worked with him once ago or why do you know him?', Light asked, when he was able to breath again. 'In germany he is, besides to Karl Lagerfeld, a famous fashion designer. Are you a Hetalia fan, Ryuuzaki?'

'Ja, ich habe die Manga gelesen und den Anime gesehen.', L replied. 'I didn't knew, that you are able to speak german.' 'сука, пожалуйста. I can speak 15 languages. How many languages do you speak, Light?' 'Hm, ähem, three...', he replied and blushed because of shame. L laughed, when he heared it.

'Are there any other fandoms we should know about?', Light asked, with a red coloured face. Misa grinned and closed the picture of Harald Glööckler. That was really nice. She had thought, that this would be funny, but she had no idea, how funny it would be.

'Indeed I'm a Doctor Who fan. From 7 to quarter before 8, every saturday, Watari and me are watching an episode.' 'Yeah, but you are an englishman, so it's obvious, that you are a fan. I wanted to hear the other weird fandoms.', Light requested.

'What is weird about Hetalia?', Misa asked her boyfriend. 'Nothing.', he pretended quickly. 'I like to hear creepypasta.', L said, before a real conflict could be produced.

Light just stared at him. After one minute L spoke up: 'I think we should watch this video.' 'Ah, yes.', Misa replied and clicked at the play button. 'If there is something said in german, you can translate, Ryuuzaki, can't you?', she asked. 'Ja, gerne.', L giggled, knowing, that nobody in this room were able to understand him. Misa could know, that 'Ja' means 'yes', because she watched Hetalia too, but that was not certain. They concentrated at the monitor at the wall.

Light started laughing about the cats, which weren't able to jump from one object to the other. Misa just grinned. She had never seen Light laughing so much. And L... She turned her head to look at him and saw him looking far away. He smiled a little bit.

'Uhm, Ryuuzaki?' She tipped on his shoulder. He just giggled and concentrated on the monitor again, where a cat crouched at a wall and jumped right into another.

This was kind of a overkill to L and Light. A laugh bursted out of Misa and the two men were lying on the ground, because they weren't able to stand anymore. 'I changed my mind.', L gasped, trying to breath. Tears stood in his eyes and when he looked to Light, he saw, that he wasn't the only one. 'Germans can be funny. And they know, what funny is.'

'I think this is Nekoruto. He just tried to walk up the wall by using his Chakra.' Misa giggled, when she said this, but L and Light looked at each other and started laughing so much, that it seemed, they would both die, if they didn't stop.

Misa just stared at the two men. She hadn't thought, they would laugh this much. _It wasn't this funny, s_he thought. 'What do you two think about Black stories? Ever heard of it?' She asked when the video was over.

'I think, I know them. Do you mean the stories which are most related to death and you have to find out, what happened by asking 'Yes or No'-questions?', Light asked. 'Yep. Exactly. Do you know any?'

'Hm, a man went into a restaurant, ate albatross flesh, went home and killed himself. Why? Do you know this story?' 'No. Never heard of it. But, Ryuuzaki, I think you are very good at this stuff. Will you try it?'

'Okay, just yes-or-no-questions. Got it. So I think he wouldn't went into a restaurant, if he planned to kill himself. And it can't be something that is related to exactly this Albatross or his love to animals. No one would kill himself because of the taste of flesh. Excluding, if he had a experience with the taste of this kind of flesh. So the solution has to be in his background. And then, somebody had to tell him, that the flesh he ate, was Albatross. But if you tell someone not the truth about the stuff he ate, it has to be something very bad. Something, that the person would never eat.

Like human flesh.

But why would you give someone human flesh and say, it is Albatross?

The only possible scenario would be, that this man landed on an island with some friends or his family and they couldn't find something to eat. So one of his friends gave him the flesh of the dead people and said, it would be Albatross. When they were rescued from the island, only these two were left. The man went into the restaurant and saw the Albatross on the menu chart. He had good memories to it, it saved him and one of his friends.

During he ate, he noticed, that it was totally different to what he ate before. And he thought, that he had never seen the whole Albatross or one of the other people which died on the island. He had eaten his family or his friends. With this guilt, he just couldn't live longer, so he murdered

himself. Is this the solution?'

'Ah, yes.' 'This was funny, a little bit too easy, but funny, do you have another one?' Light and Misa looked at each other. Booth of them weren't dumb, and Light ever thought, he had a good combination ability, but L topped everything.

'I have one, too.' Misa said quiet. „Please, tell me.' 'It isn't so good. A man is lying in a desert. He's naked and he's holding a match in his hand. Around his body lies some totally different things. What does happened?'

'He couldn't carry all of the stuff by himself. Even if he were a slave, the things wouldn't still lay there. And it has no logical thought, that he carried everything naked. So, for some reason he stripped. And the things were lying around his dead body. Because of this, I think that another person was included. The things around the person could be ballast. What does

need ballast?

I think, that they flew in a hot-air balloon. It sunk, so they threw some stuff on the ground. When the balloon was still too heavy, they stripped and threw their clothes out. But the weight was still too high. So they pulled each a match. The one with the shorter one had to jump. Is this the solution?'

'Yes, it is, did you ever heard it before?' 'No. I just combined the facts you gave me to the most possible solution. And what did you meant, when you said, it is obvious, that I'm a Doctor Who fan, because I'm an englishman? Do you not like the doctor?' L asked Light.

'I've never seen it.', Light admitted. 'You have to watch it, you will love it. Just give me a second, I'll search an episode.' L tipped in something on his keyboard and clicked on an episode with the 10th Doctor. Weeping angels.

**Translations:**

Ja, ich habe die Manga gelesen und den Anime gesehen. - Yes, I've read the Manga and I've seen the Anime.

сука, пожалуйста. - Bitch, please.

Ja, gerne. - Yes, willingly.

**Okay, this was bad. I'm editing at half past three in the morning, so sorry, if I didn't saw obvious mistakes. So I'm deadly tired, but I don't want to go to bed now. I'm just to lazy to stand up and go to bed. Everyone should know, that you shouldn't do drugs and stuff... I feel a bit bad at editing it. And NO, I don't have anything of the stuff I took when I had been writing it anymore (That was a year ago or so, I think...). And you should watch the funny cat video. It's a real video on YouTube (It has caused some laughs during research...).**


End file.
